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Be
there or be square
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You are cordially invited to join the Where's The Head On That Pint Fantasy League for 2002-03. Established managers are now assigned to their respective divisions for the coming campaign. Any manager wishing to resign from the league must do so immediately in order to allow realignment of divisions. This is also needed to ensure those wishing to join the league get a fair opportunity to do so. Any new managers wishing to join the league should email the Editor and their application will be duly dealt with. In the event of no places being available in the Xtra or fourth division, these managers will be assigned to a fifth division, provided we have enough managers to form such a division.
Further information regarding playing the game can be found at the Fantasy League website www.fantasyleague.com or at the league website, www.thefogghorn.com .
The cost of enrolment is set at £25, which represents a price freeze from Fantasy League Ltd. A further levy for Prize Funds of £15 is payable later in the season. For managers forming a new division a further levy will be payable (probably £5 or £10) which is used to obtain a new Trophy for a new division - you want something to play for after all, don't you?. Established members have already paid such a levy before which has enabled the league to buy the best selection of silverware currently owned by any fantasy league in the country. To see the league's present crop of Trophies just go to www.thefogghorn.com .
Auctions for the new season will be held at The Annexe Inn over the weekend of 3 & 4 August 2002. See below for further details...
As the total cost of enrolment for the league is over £1,000 it is essential that managers pay up front for the new campaign as I have to pay on plastic for the entire enrolment. Post-dated cheques are acceptable. New managers should also forward their payments, which will be refundable in the event of there being no places available. Established managers cheques are non-returnable: once you lot pay you have to play! Cheques should be made out to "Martin Pearce" and should be sent as soon as possible to:
Martin Pearce
164 Brynland Avenue
Bishopston
Bristol BS7 9DY
Any manager who wishes to recommend a recruit to the league should contact the Chairman as soon as possible. Names, addresses, email addresses and phone numbers are a minimum requirement at this stage.
In the event of places being left open in the league due to resignations, prior consideration will be given to filling these places with new managers who have already paid their £25 enrolment. Those unsuccessful will be allocated to the proposed fifth division (provisionally named "Where's The Head On That Pint E: The Conference")
Enough blab. Onto the auction dates and divisions...
Saturday 3 August 2002
Where's The Head On That Pint D: Xtra Division
Paul Fogg (Leedslads)
Tom Campbell (Totalled Football)
Mark Tate (Burley's I.T. Specialists)
Sarah Reynolds (Gary Lineker's Legs XI)
Nick Payne (P-Nut's Planters)
Trevor Thornton (Stockport Crusty)
Paul Rabbitts (Partick Thistle 66)
Andy Fincham/Lindsay Bissell (Hinton Un-united)
Duncan Stafford (New team: first to pay)
Corinne Godbehere (New team: second to pay)
Auction commences at 12.00pm (midday).
Managers should arrive by 11.40am
Other new managers awaiting clearance:
Dan Hooper (New team: third
to pay)
Ian Croom (New team: fourth to pay)
Stuart Watt (New team: yet to pay)
Carl Minihan (New team: yet to pay)
Mark Carter (New Team: yet to pay)
Where's The Head On That Pint C: Nursery Division
Steve Pearce (Kensigton
Park Rangers)
Steve Fox (Gerry's Mullet)
Steve Hunt (Sporting Lesbian)
Martin Haines (Rainham End Rowdies)
Lee Stefano (Treading Water)
Tim Clay (Washington Foreskins)
Matt Wood (The Minus Touch)
Jenny O'Brien (Exterminate All Others)
Richard Fox (JK Returns WC)
Rob Foster (Cotham Crusaders)
Auction commences at 3.45pm.
Sunday 4 August 2002
Where's The Head On That Pint B: Inferior Division
Adrian Downs (The Memorial
Marauders)
Bruce Ellacott (The Sad Old Gits FC)
Sarah Pearce (Liversalts FC)
Jeremy Matson (Ossie's Dream Warriors)
Steve Ferguson (Kiss My Art)
Andy Fogg (Dynamo Chicken Kiev)
Steve Moody (Moody Blues)
Andy Woodward (Smug XI)
Andy Stewart (Andy's Arseholed Aquarium)
Mark Fogg (Hull Tigers)
Auction to commence at 12.00pm (midday).
Where's The Head On That Pint A: Superior Division
Paul Harding (Ornamental
Brown Star)
Martin Pearce (Mount Morget Gas)
Julian Partridge (The Partridge Family)
Ken Clifford (Mandrake Slappers)
Jon Ward (Dukla Prague Away Kit)
Gaye Ellacott (Simply The Best)
Barry Thompson (Fortuna Huggies)
Phil Martin (Lara's Hairy Tomb)
Tim Marks (Seven Of Nine)
Stuart Halson (Shergar Riding Lord Lucan)
Trevor Cowles (Scrumpy Jack's Cider Eds)
Auction commences at 3.45pm
Managers and teams shown in bold have free franchises and do not need to pay the enrolment fee (£25).
It is anticipated that if a fifth division is formed the auction for that division will take place on Saturday 3 August 2002 at a time to be decided.
Checks for enrolment should be received as soon as possible so I can let Fantasy League know our estimated numbers. I hate chasing people for money - it's the worst part of running this monster - so please write those checks now! Don't even log-off! Get it done and over with! If you wish you can post-date checks in instalments to stagger your payments! And remember: if you are unable to make your auction date, proxies will be available... though you place your fate in their hands! If managers require accomodation for the weekend they should let me know at once...places in guset houses... sorry, that should read "guest houses" ...are limited, so hurry!
Thanks for your time and patience... and of course, your participation and cheques!
We all look forward to another cracking weekend in August, and even better Tenth Anniversary Season in the best fantasy league in the land!
Kind regards,
Martin Pearce
League Chairman
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The
pool trophy relay
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It was a good turnout for the Annual Pool Extravaganza with fourteen managers and their mates making the effort this time around. Considering it was a bank holiday weekend, I consider that to be a success.
In the James Self Kleptomania Plate, Richard Dan from the Kingswood Cabal carried the day, walloping/demolishing/decimating (pick your favourite) the hopeless/hapless/useless (ditto) Steve Moody in the final, after certain managers still involved in the main competition generously agreed to withdraw as we ran out of time. Mr Dan wasn't the most obvious of winners in the knock-out competition, but it was still well deserved. Whilst Mr Moody may not be capable of finding a pocket in the Gents Department of British Home Stores, he was still, nonetheless, in the same postal district as Mr Dan and could probably have found the pool table in question had he wanted to. Congratulations to Richard and let's see you in the league ranks next season.
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Pigsick
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The main Pool Championship Trophy, however, went back to Sheffield again, though not in the hands of Jon Ward this time. Andy Stewart took top honours this time around as he saw off Craig Davis (also of the Kingswood persuasion--and let's see you in the league, next term, Craig) in a tense final.
However, the best moment of the night had already been enjoyed in the semis of the same competition, as Andy Stewart utterly, totally and completely, blew away Paul Harding in a seven-ball lashing that left the bruised and embarrassed leader of the league stumbling to the toilet in stomach-knotted anguish, his naked pride raw and hurt, his emotions and demeanour that of the truly pigsick.
Pleasing as that was, though, it should not steal the thunder of the Sheffield Crew, who once more walked into the lion's den and emerged virtually unscathed with the league's premier pool trophy. The Sheffield Stealers will no doubt be eager to rack 'em up again in the Autumn, when Pool Night 2002 unfolds.
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Yours
is no disgrace...
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Finally, a quick word for Barry Thompson (Fortuna Huggies) who once more defied the bookmakers after this latest league event. Remarkably, Barry failed to empty the contents of his digestive tract over the Chairman's sofa for the second successive visit, even though a bucket was on hand. Barry gets to keep a cushion if he can make it three in a row…
02/04/2002.
