SEASON 1997-98 Living in the past WEBMEISTER BREAKS NEW GROUND WITH UPDATED FOGG-HORN!

The Chairman's history of the "Where's The Head On That Pint Fantasy League"

The Grip Relents

As the fifth season began, the grip of the Iron Fist was as tight as ever. Would he ever be usurped, we wondered. For once, Barry Thompson, managed to make it to his auction (at a new venue, The Annexe Inn) during some leave from Saudi Arabia, and it was from this unlikely source that salvation was to come. By the end of August, Spacehoppers Jeddah were in a commanding lead which would never be relinquished. The Memorial Marauders were stuck in the doldrums in last place. It was a slow start for Adrian Downs, and it was to mark his downfall. Although he put together a terrifying run of form in the last few weeks of the season, and was thus able to sneak second place by a mere 6pts, it was his slow start that did for him in the end. Bruce Ellacott (The Sad OId Gits FC) made a decent fist of his first season in the top flight, finishing just behind third placed Washington Foreskins, and underlined his credentials as a Superior Division manager. By the end of the season, however, the real struggle was to stay up. After four seasons in the top division, it was goodnight Vienna for John Pullin as The Pirates Return finished in last place after a miserable season. Also having to face up to the drop in May were Gary Linekers Legs XI who had been so impressive only two season's previously. It was the start of a dismal slide for the Cardiff-based team. For Trevor, the return to the top was to end in tears. With only one week to go, any of the bottom six teams could go down, including the Chairman's Mount Morget Gas. In the end only an assist from Steve Harkness on the last day of the season saved the Chairman and as a result Free Franchise FC were condemned to the drop.

In the Inferior Division it was another great season for Jon Ward and Justine Thurman. This time around Jon was to pick up the title while Muttawas settled for third place. Ornamental Brown Star narrowly missing out on the title, joined them in the promotion places. Stu Halson, who had been relegated the previous season, nearly bounced back at the first attempt, but in the end suffered through failing to rotate his squad. A couple of goals from Hasselbaink could have returned him to the Superior, had he played him more often. In the drop zone, Joe Unsworth's Mancunian Jibbers never recovered from the blow of losing Shearer before the start of the season. Although Joe never paid out the record £12.9m that the Chairman did for Shearer's signature, it was still the end of the season for him. Due to the reorganising of the league, only one team went down from the Inferior, and Mancunian Jibbers were that team.

The re-organising of the league meant that the top five teams in the Nursery would be offered promotion; a unique opportunity that stimulated a scramble for places. In the end, Simon Abbott, a newcomer to the league, managed his way to his first title, in spite of the fact that he was unable to make it to the Nursery auction and had to appoint a proxy. Also going up with One Season Wonders FC were newboys Ken Clifford (Mandrake Slappers), Jeremy Matson (Ossies Dream Warriors), Tim Marks (The Next Generation) and Julian Partridge (The Partridge Family) who had joined the league the previous season. Also of interest was a play-off for one other place in the Inferior Division, the first time the league had operated a play-off system for promotion places. It was an interesting experiment, but one that has not been repeated since. In the play-off Kaputten Diesel Pumpen secured their Inferior status for another season as they scraped past Andy Gill FC 6-4. It was an empty fixture in the final analysis, though, as both teams resigned from the league at the end of the season, along with Muttawas On Aceed.

The Caffrey's Chalice was to cross the Atlantic at the end of the 97/98 season. Washington Foreskins had an excellent season in the league, and this was echoed in the league's League Cup. On their way to the final, the American team saw off The Pirates Return (16-6), Lord Lucans XI (6-0), Hull Tigers (16-0) and Rapid Beardinsulters in the semis (25-22). Tim had plenty to smile about as the week of the final arrived and he faced up to Trevor Cowles's Free Franchise FC, who were fighting relegation in the league. The result was a walkover as Trevor's miseries were piled high and he was dragged down by the Foreskins, 22-4.

In The Roy Pearce Trophy, Bruce Ellacott was to finally achieve his ambition to bag some silverware, though you wouldn't have guessed it to begin with. In the group stages Bruce lost three of his qualifiers and progressed on the tails of Ornamental Brown Star. It was a close group stage, generally; in one group all four teams ended square on 9pts and had to enter a bizarre four-way play-off to decide who would progress. One of these teams, Lord Lucans XI, were dispatched by The Sad Old Gits FC in the second round (7-1), who then went on to kill-off the challenge of Ossies Dream Warriors (3- -4) in the quarter-finals. In the semis Bruce had a real stinker of a draw against Muttawas On Aceed, but still came out on top thanks to Ryan Giggs who scored 8 of his 9pts in a 9-7 victory. The final looked like a formality, and it was. Matt Wood's The Minus Touch had made it to their first final since 1995. On the way they had been pre-eminent in the group stage, finishing joint-top, and had dismissed challenges from Cotham Crusaders (14-8), Mount Morget Gas (13-0) and Jennys Jems (1-0) who had defeated Matt in the 94/95 final of the 838 League Cup. Matt was always the underdog, and for the third time he was to come away empty handed from Fantasy Wembley, this time going down 8-14 to Bruce's The Sad Old Gits FC. It was a sad end to the season for Matt, but at least he had stayed up. For Bruce it was a dream come true.